ten acid fingers wrapped around me
one electric blue night
and in the darkness of my room
this strangely feels alright
i close my eyes and pretend
deep sleep
as your thousand tiny touches
add up to a single want
these touches that leave an impression in the night
gets erased by rays of crimson dawn
the cold empty feeling of the day
outshines even the bright red sun
as we walk our seperate paths
but words,
words that never fell easily between us
dont matter now
these awkward sulphuric touches in the dark negate
our morning's cold silences

before i slip into a medicated sleep
my obsessions must be studied
questions i need to ask myself
answers i must seek
replay the events. count the words
pause. bitterness envelops every hope
this dreadful hatred chokes me within
as i watch him grin at my pain
so i watch the hating
in patient waiting
there is nothing else to do
no. there is .
i must kill this beast. stop the madness
put a cork on my twisted desires
so i slash and gouge
reach inside
inside that dark desolate place
pull the beast outside
hold him at eye level
alas! it is my solitary heart , long abandoned
i hold now in my hands
i smash it, break it , leave it to die
As i quietly chuckle at its stupid struggle
now my obsession murdered
and i am at peace
there is one more thing to do
i must thank thee for your treatment of me
i can be called disease free
now let me rest my tired eyes
fall into a blissful sleep
never to open them again

it is to you i address this- the man in the mirror
pray tell me
how many more torturous verses
of chocolate covered excrements
should i read
before you let me drown and die?
confounding is your technique
but truth be said
i dream these visions of hell
a fog filled mirror , seperates us
paralysed i stand-not able to see , speak or touch
a creature bound by her own inhibitions
we are doomed to be in different dimensions
is this not more punishing than hell?
so if torture is what you have in mind
i beseech you to stop these verbal tortures in small installments
don't you see
i am a glutton for pain?

my words are like opaque orbs, you think you can see right through
when you see at all
you see lies and deceit
you think you have special eyes
eyes like pinecones, that pierce
pierce right through my bullshit.
with your muticolored vision
you gaze at me
when you see me
you dont see light
just a rainbow of colors.
will you ever realise
these colors you see are nothing but a mask of your own paranoia?

Smoke and Mirrors

hollow conjurer
creator of hazy illusions
lurking in the black abyss
just beyond sight

faceless man dancing in shadows deep
plays perpetualin dark corners of my mind

deceptive artist
you magic a mirage of love
i crawl forever
will i ever find you?

i fall over the edge
losing what i never possessed
guess it was all smoke and mirrors