before i slip into a medicated sleep
my obsessions must be studied
questions i need to ask myself
answers i must seek
replay the events. count the words
pause. bitterness envelops every hope
this dreadful hatred chokes me within
as i watch him grin at my pain
so i watch the hating
in patient waiting
there is nothing else to do
no. there is .
i must kill this beast. stop the madness
put a cork on my twisted desires
so i slash and gouge
reach inside
inside that dark desolate place
pull the beast outside
hold him at eye level
alas! it is my solitary heart , long abandoned
i hold now in my hands
i smash it, break it , leave it to die
As i quietly chuckle at its stupid struggle
now my obsession murdered
and i am at peace
there is one more thing to do
i must thank thee for your treatment of me
i can be called disease free
now let me rest my tired eyes
fall into a blissful sleep
never to open them again